im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
