Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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