Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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