I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
