Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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