haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
