i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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