I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the room spins SO much faster in panama
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
