Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
