A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
