All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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