i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You did what with his pubic hair?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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