so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
