if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
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