school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
nutella sex= disaster
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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