Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
