porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
