4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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