What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
