Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
