in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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