i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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