My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
