and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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