can we get nightvision for the apartment?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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