i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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