Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
