We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
