Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
