Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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