so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm both gender and math confused
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
tell me about the eggs
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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