Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I supernannyed him into submission
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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