You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
