Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
