If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
