my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
