non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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