Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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