Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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