Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
