youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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