Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
