So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
