It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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