you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
