I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
