Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
