kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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