Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
