Can i not drive my cunt home
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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