She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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