Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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