I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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