So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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