Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize