bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
