No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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