Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
